November 1 – I am mad, numb, sad, and Feelingverysorryformyself Francine. I had my oncology appointment today which was supposed to be my two year anniversary as a survivor and instead I find out that the lump that was removed last week in a lumpectomy was cancerous as well as a lymph node that came out along with the lump. And to just top it all off they found that there were cells along the back wall of the lump – guess I can officially call it a tumor – and they were too close to the implant to scrape so there are still cancer cells there. That is why it has taken so long for the result to come back. They have been running tons of tests and there is still one to go. The Her2Neu to see if I am negative or positive, I was negative last time which was a good thing since positive shows signs of more aggressive cancer. Dr. M said right now it shows positive but he feels that when the Phish (pronounced fish – not positive of the spelling) test comes back it will be negative. I go to my post –op appointment with the surgeon on Thursday and while I am there we will set up a surgery date to have that *&%$#@(&* chemo port put back in. Then I have to get a PET scan to see if there is any cancer anywhere else (even if there is he said the treatment would stay the same) and then I start chemo (again!) in two weeks and I will have to go once a week. I can’t get the same thing I had before because you can only have that once as it is so damaging. Treatments will be once a week (not a typo!). New stuff will be Carboplatin and Taxol. He says that I will not be as sick as I was before (a very good thing!) and that I should not have nausea (a very, very, good thing!) He doesn’t know yet how many treatments because he has to see how well I tolerate the drugs. After chemo is done I have to have radiation and that will be daily. If the Her2Neu test comes back positive he will add Herceptin to the regimen and I will have to have it through the port once a week for fifty-two weeks (no typo here, either!). Needless to say I hope I am negative again!
Guess what the percentage is of having the cancer recur on the chest wall? Five percent! Five *&^^%$#@* percent! I tell you, Murphy’s last name is indeed Clark! Dr. M says it is rare, they only see three to four cases a year but obviously it happens. Why do I have to be in this elite group! I really don’t want to be here!
Remember I told you about loaning all the wig girls (Romantic Rose, Dramatic Drucilla, Sassy Simone and Joan Jett to someone? She never returned them so Harold called her and told her I needed them back. Dr. M said I would not lose my hair as fast as I did before and maybe not all of it but I can tell you I enjoy Halloween and looking scary then but am not fond of projecting that image on a day to day basis! Going to get the girls back and get them shampooed and be ready for service. Gotta get Brenda Braveheart back in the battle, too. Too bad, she was nice but I really didn’t want to see her again!
Isn’t this just the pits!
The journey through breast cancer continues……………………………..
Love – Margot a.k.a Fellingverysorryformyself Francine and Brenda Braveheart.
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