May 2 – This is the month that Dr. M, the oncologist,
said I would probably go out without wearing my wigs. I started in April
but am confident I will be wearing the “girls” for fun and
convenience only, very soon. I don’t mind everyday errand stuff
but still like wearing them when I get dressed up. Feel too casual, I
guess, with the very short hair. That may change when I get the okay from
Dr. M to “go red!”
I have been very tired lately, will check on that with the various doctors
as I see everyone next week. All this travel and teaching is tiring but
I also need to lose weight!!!!!!!!!! For more that just tiredness –
I have high blood pressure and high cholesterol and better eating habits
would help those two things immensely. Not to mention the effect of less
weight for my arthritis! Now that I am back on track as far as the breast
cancer, I really need to concentrate on changing my eating habits to remain
healthy. I don’t want to beat cancer to die of high cholesterol!
Haven’t been able to get out in my garden lately nor have I walked
much so lack of exercise is probably behind my tiredness. Today though,
as soon as I finish typing this I am “outta here” and into
the garden for the whole day! I had a couple of people ask what that large
green leafed plant was growing up the tree in my last garden photo. That
is Golden Pothos, a philodendron, normally, a hanging houseplant. That
is what happens when it is allowed to grow outdoors in a tropical atmosphere!
I believe that is their normal size and they scale down when forced to
live in a pot! When I trim the houseplant I toss the cuttings out in the
garden. I have these on two other trees and growing on my back garden
wall. Are you impressed????????? The stem measures about 1” in diameter
and is very tough when it reaches that size.
Flavia quote that is perfect right here – “A garden, like
a friend, has a way of healing our tired minds and refreshing our spirits.”
I am very serious when I say I must make contact with the earth to replenish
my spirits and energies. I get my right hand in that dirt and just say
“aaaahhhhh” as I feel the earth’s energies flow up my
arm! And no, I am not Demented Deena, try it yourself and let your mind
and senses open to the experience!
Ordered the tile for the guest bathroom yesterday! Cost the earth but
it will be so gorgeous! We have company coming, beginning in June so really
need them to be able to use the shower. A Jacuzzi whirlpool bath is wonderful
but sometimes you just want to get clean in a hurry! The lady who took
care of us was very good – I went in on Friday afternoon with short,
curly, graying hair and came in on Saturday with very dark spiky hair
(Dramatic Drucilla) and she didn’t miss a beat and didn’t
stare either. We had told her that we had been working on this bathroom
for a year and I mentioned in passing that it was because I had gotten
sick so she probably surmised what had happened but she was cool! When
we finish the bathroom I think we will have to have a party and cram everyone
in the bathroom to celebrate the event! I will definitely post a photo
to mark the event!
I have come across a booklet sent to me by the place that used to do
my mammograms and I found some very good info I would like to pass on
to all of you. They are talking about breast self exams (BSE) and state
the following – “Although cases are rare under age 35 and
most common over age 50, EVERY woman is at risk from breast cancer; breast
cancer cannot be prevented, only treated – and cured, if treated
soon enough. Research shows that the tumors found by women practicing
BSE are half the size of those discovered by doctors in non-BSE practicing
women. And, the smaller a breast cancer tumor when discovered, the greater
chance of effective treatment and cure. If all women would do BSE, see
their doctors for regular cancer check-ups and have mammograms as recommended,
97 percent of all breast cancers could be halted before they become fatal.”
Pretty sobering is it not? Please, please do this for yourself and for
the people who love you and want you to remain in their lives!
I also want to include a message from the Susan G. Komen Foundation whom
I support wholeheartedly – “The progress we’ve made
together in the battle against breast cancer is truly amazing: women used
to suffer alone, but now, those who face a breast cancer diagnosis have
better information, improved screening, more treatment options, an enhanced
quality of life and a vast and growing support network.” It is true,
so many women have shared their stories with me and been so very supportive
in my own battle with breast cancer and I did have many choices in treatment
and the ability to be an active part of my treatment not just a passive
victim.
May 5 – Such wonderful people I know! A friend
called me yesterday who does permanent make-up on Long Island in New York
and offered to do my areola tattooing for me. She is another artist so
I am sure it would be very good. She was telling me how natural it looks
when done properly. She suggested I forgo the whole nipple reconstruction
and go with just tattooing. I did find out it has to be touched up every
few years as it fades, I didn’t know that. I have been thinking
about it and still think I will go the reconstruction route. I know it
involves surgery and recovery but I may not need any tattooing at all
with that which means I would be done with that part forever. I am also
a very tactile person so I think I will be more comfortable with something
that “feels” real as well as looking real. Nurse Martha had
also recommended the nipple reconstruction as being the most natural looking.
Remember that Nurse Martha is my sister and she worked in a plastic surgeon’s
office for five years so saw every different option. Dr. J also said he
thought that looked the most natural but he may be a bit biased since
he is the plastic surgeon! I am just so very pleased that there are so
many options available to women after having a mastectomy. It really is
your choice on how you want to proceed depending on what your expectations
are and what you are comfortable with being done to YOUR body.
Spent the afternoon running errands and sneaking in a bit of shopping
while I was at it! I am still amazed at how much I can appreciate a little
thing like shopping and running errands. Probably because I couldn’t
do it for so long and now I know I can. Also, no wig! No one stared but
no one commented on my hairstyle either. Usually I would get at least
one comment on my wig or way before all this happened on my real hair.
so, no one stares but no one wants it for their own style either! Doesn’t
look dreadful, just very short. At least it is curly so I got half of
my request – I guess the red part of that request will have to come
out of a bottle! It does feel good to be out and about without a wig,
though. I still love them but I feel such progress is being made in my
recovery going without them. I guess it is the fact that I am back in
the mainstream of life!
My webmaster, Marian, did a cool thing with the garden photo when she
put it up on the BC journals website. She liked the statue so she included
a “Click On” to enlarge and isolate just the statue. If you
want to see, go to http://margotclark.com/BC
[link will take you to Update 35]. Very cool! She is just amazing to keep
that site for me and for any other person who wants the info. Very big
kudos to her for her work on behalf of breast cancer! The count of visitors
to the site was 1921 this morning! Please don’t ever stop referring
people to the site. It is a very good, private way for someone to find
out about what happens with breast cancer without having to actually face
someone in a group. I still get emails from women asking questions and
am always glad to answer. I always offer to show anyone who wants to see
what a mastectomy and reconstruction looks like but do not get many takers.
I think most people are too embarrassed to look but it does not bother
me in the least so if I offer and you want to see – do it! It really
does take the fear out of something when you can see it for yourself!
I actually flex my chest muscles in front of my classes so they laugh
(they can’t help themselves!) and it breaks any tension about me
and the whole breast cancer issue.
Couple of Flavia quotes here, this woman is a gardener for sure:
“Breathe in the beauty of all that surrounds you. The landscapes
of your dreams is always within reach.”
“Every day is a time to love and to care for the earth so that
we can give back some of the wonder the world has given to us.”
“Friendships are like flowers whose seeds, if carefully nurtured,
can bloom for a lifetime.”
“Every joy we feel is a celebration of life.”
And I just love this one – “Be patient heart. There are
phantom dreams and paper stars I still must chase.”
Info time – Who is At High Risk for Breast Cancer?
The booklet I am reading states that monthly self breast exams, exams
by a healthcare professional and mammograms are essential procedures for
ALL women to follow, not just women who are considered at high risk. The
staggering figure that goes along with that is an estimate 70 to 75 percent
of women who are diagnosed with breast cancer have no known risk factors
other than being female. they do say that certain women are more likely
than others to develop breast cancer and that these women should undergo
professional breast cancer check-ups more frequently than the recommended
average which is:
Women over 40 to have a mammogram every year, annual clinical breast
exam performed by a healthcare professional and self-breast exams monthly.
Women age 20 –39 should have a clinical breast exam performed
by a healthcare professional every three years and should perform monthly
self-breast exams
Please remember that my mentor Lisa, found hers by self-examination
when she was only 27!
The risk factors for breast cancer are:
The risk of breast cancer increases with age (Not much you can do
about that one!)
The risk is higher in:
Women with a personal or a family history of breast cancer (I am
the first in my family that we know of)
Biopsy that confirms atypical hyperplasia
A long menstrual history, meaning menstrual periods that started
early and ended late in life (That is me – started at age 11 and
ended around age 55 – last period was in February and was diagnosed
with breast cancer in July)
Recent use of oral contraceptives or post menopausal estrogens (
I had taken hormones for hot flashes for about 4 years off and on)
Never had children or had first child after the age 30
Consumes two or more drinks of alcohol daily
Higher education and socioeconomic status (Wish they had gone into
this one a bit more – I am just an average woman in both of those
categories)
They also state that according to the American Cancer society the majority
of women will have one or more of these risk factors and that most are
at such a low level they do not really explain the large number of breast
cancers seen in the general population. My personal feelings are that
we are ingesting too many chemicals in the air we breathe and the processed
foods we eat. On another page they state that additional factors which
may be associated with an increased risk are pesticides and other chemical
exposures alcohol consumption, induced abortion and physical inactivity
and that these additional risk factors are currently under study. They
go on to say that since most risk factors cannot be controlled, finding
a breast cancer in its earlier stage, while it is still small and has
not spread to surrounding tissue, is the only way to lower the number
of deaths due to breast cancer. Finding or detecting breast cancer also
increases a woman’s treatment options. When mine was detected and
biopsied, it was diagnosed at a Stage 3 which is pretty serious. It had
not spread to any other place but it was large and after the surgery to
remove the Stage 3 tumor I was diagnosed as upper Stage 1 mainly due to
the size of the tumor and that is also why I needed to have the chemo
treatments. I will always wonder if I had gotten in to get my annual mammogram
in January instead of finally in July, would it have made a difference
in my treatment? The nasty thing had an extra six months to grow before
being detected. They did tell me that due to its size, it had been growing
for a while. My postponements were due to having not enough doctors in
the area to read the mammograms and then to a change in insurance plans.
No regrets, just a wondering on my part. Never have thought, “Why
me?” I mean, why not me??????? Life happens.
May 9 – Happy Mother’s Day! I was Great
Gardener and spent my day in the garden with all my lovely plants, digging
in the dirt! I know I am having a good time if the creases in my arms
and neck have dirt in them! Harold and Jen cooked dinner for me………oooooooo
Heaven! Spent a good portion o9f my day contemplating the past year. This
time last year I had breast cancer and didn’t know it. Now it is
gone and I am well on my way to recovery. I am very happy to be here celebrating
Mother’s Day and my daughters are thankful, too. My own mother died
many years ago in 1984 of respiratory failure due to lung cancer at age
59. I turned 56 in September, don’t smoke and never have so hope
that counts for something! I am happy to say that my dear mother-in-law
is still with us and is nice and healthy! Just in case you are thinking
I am pulling a holier-than-thou about my not smoking let me set the record
straight about why I don’t smoke. As a teenager all my girlfriends
smoked and I thought they looked soooooo cool! so of course I had to try,
too. Never could get the hang of inhaling so just pretended to –
do you think anyone knew I wasn’t inhaling??????? Yeah, right! This
went on for about a month and I was at a party and caught sight of myself
in a mirror with a cigarette. Well, my friends looked cool with a cigarette
– I however, just looked stupid! That took care of the smoking!
Pure vanity took over! See, I was Vain Vanessa way back then!
May 11 – Just back from my nine month checkup
from the general surgeon, Dr. P and I am A-Okay as far as he is concerned!
Yea! Tomorrow is the oncologist, Dr. M and if I get the okay on hair dye
by tomorrow night I will be a redhead! I am taking Sassy Simone with me
in the car so we can stop at the store on the way home from the doctor’s
office! I was Dramatic Drucilla (spell check on the computer thinks this
should be Dracula!) today to see Dr. P. Told the nurse that when I sat
up from my exam it was her duty to see that my hair was not all weird
in the back from lying down. She just laughed but she did check for me.
Interesting conversation with my doctor. I thanked him again for my great
care and told him I knew how lucky I was since I talk to so many other
women with breast cancer and hear their stories of how their doctors just
don’t listen or belittle their fears. He said he had no plans to
change the way he did things but that he knew of what I spoke from listening
to other doctors and how short time is with patients. He said that was
not an excuse but was just a fact and different people, doctors included,
handle stress in different ways. He said he only sees the problem as getting
worse. I am taking this opportunity to speak my mind. I firmly believe
it is our responsibility to be sure we get proper care. Speak up! Don’t
let the doctor leave until your questions are answered. If they don’t
have an answer ask where you can get the information. Say to them you
don’t think they are listening to you if you feel that way and insist
that they do. Don’t waste their time when you are in their office.
Figure on five minutes, max, and have a list of questions typed out for
you and one for them so they can see the questions and answer them right
then, in order. Take someone with you so they can write down the answers
so you can talk. There is also strength in numbers! I believe they would
be more apt to answer all the questions if there were two people there
not just you and the nurse doctor, then you are outnumbered! If you don’t
feel you are getting proper care – find another doctor. It is your
body and when doctors and nurses are really busy I think we tend to fade
into the background as “people” and are just seen as “patients.”
Soap Box Sue for sure here!
Case in point – since having the lymph nodes removed from my left
arm I can no longer have blood drawn from that arm and it is very hard
to get it from my right arm. I know that tomorrow I will have blood drawn
at the oncologist’s office. I also know I am due for blood work
with my primary care doctor, too. I really, really don’t want to
fight with the drawing of blood more than I have to so I sent a fax yesterday
explaining the situation to my primary doctor and asked them to send a
fax to Dr. M’s office with what blood tests he needed and to please
fax me a copy in case it got waylaid somewhere so I would have it when
I went for my appointment (also I know that if they send me a copy they
have sent it to Dr. M!). I just now received my copy by fax. I feel this
is very efficient and a great time saver for me and the doctors and staff
because, 1. No one in the office can say they didn’t get the message
as happens with phone calls requesting such things, 2. My primary doctor
can take care of it at his leisure since I gave them two days (any more
than that and I find it gets set aside!) and by writing it down and faxing
it there is no wasted time for him and no chance of a phone message being
given wrongly, 3. Dr. M is doing the blood work anyway and sending the
results to my primary doctor, and 4. I only need to get the blood drawn
once. Now, I did not ask “pretty please”, I just requested
very politely that it be done so them not doing it was not an option!
I do this a lot with referrals and such and it always works very well.
Just a little helpful hint. And………..the doctors all
say they appreciate it as it is more efficient! Am I now Efficient Effie?????
Must end this one now as it is turning into a booklet!
Photo of the week is of my patio. You can see the statue and philodendron
from the last update at a different angle. Guess who laid that patio?
Harold of course, although Jennifer and I hauled all those paving stones
for him! I love to go there in the afternoon with a coffee and a book
and take a little break from working. Trying to live life to its fullest
now!
Love and good health to you all,
Margot a.k.a. Perky Polly – keeper of the Perky Twins, Soap Box
Sue, Dramatic Drucilla, Vain Vanessa, Efficient Effie and Greta Gardener.
After reading through the updates, if you have any questions please email
me