Margot Update 4

Thursday, August 28

Well, today will be a very quiet, still day - any movement on my part feels much like a permanent mammogram! Feels like my poor boobies are being squeezed in a vice! If I sit very still I am fine so……………. Looks like the day of and the day after a "fill" will be quiet ones!

Friday, August 29

My, oh, my wasn't I sore yesterday! Kept my arms down to my sides and sat a lot, slept a lot and took baby steps so as not to jostle anything! Spoke to Nurse Martha this morning and she was surprised I was so sore with only 50cc. She said that usually people feel better when getting some liquid in the expanders. Then she said, "Oh! I forgot you are always hauling around heavy boxes, suitcases and do heavy gardening! You probably have nice tight pectoral muscles!" Oh yea! Lucky me! She also said that a usual fill is 100 - 150 cc. Yikes! I would have croaked for sure if I had that much put in! Sooooo glad Dr. J was conservative with the amount he used.

I don't think I have mentioned someone who was so very helpful tome right before surgery. A friend of Jen's named Lisa has just been through this whole thing and she came over the Saturday before surgery and talked to me the whole day, answering any questions I had, no matter what. She is my inspiration for sharing with all of you. I had only met her once before but she told Jen she would be happy to talk to me. So very, very kind of her. I felt so much more informed about what was about to happen and even though every single person is different, and will be affected in different ways, it was great to have some earthly idea what was going to happen to me. Also, the fact that she was sitting there looking fantastic while telling me all this was very reassuring!

Saturday, August 30

Still sore! Not as much as Thursday but still tight and a bit raw feeling. Sorry, you guys gotta' get the bad news too along with the good! Going to just take it easy today. Went out to dinner with friends and Jen at our favorite restaurant "Wings" last night and guess what - no one stared at me as if I looked odd. I wore my leopard skin, satin camisole with a sparkly black jacket and black pants, full makeup and did my hair so (if I must say) I looked good! Good to be doing something normal for a change!

Also a note here about something that was done for me that was very thoughtful and helpful. I will keep this idea in mind for the future for someone else if the need it. A group of friends and colleagues pooled their flower money and got me someone (lucky for me I have a friend, Ann, in the business!) to come in and clean my house once a week for a while! I'm sure that Harold appreciates it the most! Those of you that have been to my house know how I am about having a clean house. I cannot work in a mess! Connie Parkinson had the idea and she told me a story from HOOT, the convention I missed. Connie was keeping the idea quiet, just going to a few people so it was not widely known she was collecting anything for me. A woman came up to her in her booth and handed her money and said, "This is for Margot." She didn't give Connie her name but went on to say that her husband had cancer and had only about two weeks to live and there was nothing anyone could do for him but she was elated to be able to do something for me, thanked Connie for the idea of sending help, that she could have used a lot of help over the past few months but because it wasn't her illness no one thought about her. Don't you know, that about did me in! Cried like a baby! I will never know who it was but she will remain in my memory forever.

Sunday, August 31

Went out today to Nurse Martha's as she is moving and I wanted her washer and dryer! She got new ones! Needless to say, I watched as Harold loaded! We then went to lunch at Cracker Barrel, my most favorite place to poke around in! Bought myself a beautiful ribbon embroidery coverlet I have been admiring as I need to be surrounded in beauty as I rest from all this. Hey, any excuse will do if you really want something! After that I was ready to call it a day. Nurse Martha suggested that I put on my leisure bra to apply some pressure to my poor sore boobies - kind of like when you have a headache and pressing on your temples makes it feel better. I did do that (at least it is not a "real" bra which I have sworn off of forever!) and it did feel better although I think it was a bit tight. I have never had to wear a surgical bra and I asked the doctor why and he said, well, there is really nothing there and they are very uncomfortable. I had asked him because everyone else who has had this surgery had to wear the "hated bra." Will have to get some larger ones and try them to see what I think.

Monday, September 1

Big day - Jen took me to K-Mart AND the grocery store! Whoo-ee! Rested all day in preparation for my evening jaunt and to recover from being out and about on Sunday. Not bad, took it easy. Bought some new leisure bras and wore the too tight one which felt better than nothing at all for the walking around part. Get tired very easily - I'm sure that is no surprise to anyone.

Tuesday, September 2

Ann came to clean today and I must say my house is spic and span! I could get used to this! She does a much better job than I do! So nice that she is a friend so I didn't have to have strangers in my house. I just went off and took a nap - love the lady of leisure part of all this! Wore the new bra all day - big mistake! By evening I had to resort to a pain pill - felt like something had tried to cut off my circulation under my boobs ( remember I do have a little!) and then sanded my skin with sandpaper!!!!!!!!!!!!! Had to make a tent of the sheet so nothing touched me. Be very glad when this hypersensitivity goes away. Nurse Martha says maybe another week………………..I think maybe she likes to torture me!

Wednesday, September 3
Three weeks after surgery

Not bad this morning. Started doing my "wall crawls", walking your fingers up the wall as far as you can go from the front and the side to begin to stretch your muscles out again. Not too bad, just a little tight feeling. Made the bed - major accomplishment! Today is the day I could start driver's training - I can tell you that ain't gonna' happen! The mere thought of maneuvering my big old Dodge around is just too daunting at the moment! Right now, I feel I need another week. Not disappointed, though. Family and friends are dragging me all over the place. I get to see a lot of everyone! I am on doctor break this week - Dr J. is still out of the country, see both him and the oncologist nest week. My social calendar is quite full this week, lunch dates today and tomorrow, ride with Jen to the Vet on Friday - (poor D.O.G. need her teeth cleaned, they go under anesthetic for that and they need my signature), company on Saturday and Monday (lucky her, she also gets to take me to get a blood test). Needless to say, I will spend a lot of time resting in between all these activities. Finally am sleeping more than six hours at a time!

My dentist called this morning about my six month cleaning - ya' know - I think I will just pass on that for a bit!

All in all, even with being so uncomfortable (did I tell you that the bottom end of the expanders, right at the bottom of my little boobs, feel like steel rods have been inserted in there instead of soft plastic?????? I must remember to ask Dr. J about that!) I wouldn't change anything. I would much rather be as far along as I am in the reconstruction part than having to get over pain and then inflict it on myself again by having another surgery to insert the expanders!!!! I also have never regretted having both breasts removed even though the cancer was only in the left one. That was a 30 second decision, I can tell you!

See you next week,

Love to all of you,

Margot

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